Life is kinda dissapointing when you don't believe in anything..
Some people, I have found, think far too long and far too hard on such silly things.
Things such as: “Does he love me?” “Will I wake up tomorrow?”
But what happened to the great questions in life (Do rainbows really taste like skittles?)
(What happened to imagination?)
I like to think about balloons, rubber or Mylar bladders filled to burst with gasses lighter than air.
What goes through the mind of a balloon when it is set free? While the ground gets smaller and a little boy is left disappointed?
I wonder to myself, how many are up there?
Do they know each other?
Do the tell stories about how they were lost?
Do they remember the little boys and little girls to whom they once belonged?
And if they do, do they remember us?
Do they watch us from high above? Do they watch us as time passes by? As we grow and change, and forget all of the balloons we let go of and the kites we lost to the trees?
Do they grow? And love? Do they die, or do they just keep floating?
And I wonder to myself, just exactly what would it feel like to be a balloon? To drift away from little hands and float above the earth…eternally…
I wrote this after looking at a balloon at work earlier in the month. It made me think of what it was like to be a child and not know the realities of life.
It is impossible to know what life is, seeing as everyone has a skewed point of perception. Every person on the face of the earth, including myself, has a personal bias when it comes to perception. Why? Because your perception of reality is based upon personal life experiences, which can only make you see so far.
When I leave myself alone to my thoughts, I go into a world as free as possible from such biases. I try my hardest to walk in other peoples shoes, and understand things from their point of view. Over the past few months I have looked at things as hard as possible without a personal bias, and have come to the understanding that we as people are no more than what we are. I'm sure everyone realizes this, and I'm surely not one to say that I know any more than someone else, but it's different when you look at things at face value.
I have realized that a lot of people have this hang up that people are something special. The truth is (and as I said, most of you already realize this) is that we are just animals. We are living beings, just as is every other creature or living being on this planet. We have consciousness, which is the end result of mankind's need to be a social species.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I look at things from the most practical and analytical point of view possible, and see things for what they are instead of what they symbolize, it's kind of a big let down. Kind of like finding out Santa, the easter bunny, the tooth faerie, and all of those tales are fake, all in one blow.
Please don't take this the wrong way and think that I am depressed or in need of help, I just felt like expressing some of the thoughts that have been going on through my head. I still have a great will to live because of my voracious curiosity and my ardent love of life, but I do find it a bit disenchanting to think that there isn't much that really matters.
What does matter?
Love, social interaction, friendships, making life worth living.
Society is kind of a funny thing, but again, please don't think I am trying to make myself sound any better than anyone else. I know what I know what I know, and I am who I am. No more, no less.
-rising only to toast-